"Clean House" New Beginning!
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One of my favorite shows to watch is "Clean House" on Style Network. It's the same old story every time, but a different cast of characters. The plot always involves people who have collected too much - most of it sentimental in value - unnecessary junk, taking up valuable living space. Niecy Nash and her crew cajole, make deals with these people, and even blackmail them if needed, all to show them how their lives are being compromised by "foolishness" that they can't seem to let go of. And almost always, after the purging is done and the redecoration is complete, the people feel as if they have a new beginning.
At times, these people make hard decisions in their efforts to clean house. They have to be merciless and cut the ties with those now-unimportant pieces of paper, junky furniture and other objects that have memories attached, and decide that it really is getting in the way of what they really want: a total home makeover - a clean house. Always they ask, "What if I need that eventually?" Sometimes they really do panic as they see what was once valuable and comfortable being traded for something new and unfamiliar. Always, they confuse an object with the memory attached to it. It is Niecy's job to convince them that discarding the object will not delete the memory, but will, in fact facilitate a new beginning with no toxic clutter. Abuse recovery is like this too. You reach a point in your journey when you know that it's time to clean house and unclutter - emotionally, relationally, physically, and sexually. The important spaces within you are filled with muddle that needs to be re-ordered, rearranged, and downsized. Abuse recovery involves making hard decisions. What within you has value? What has worth and is not toxic? When you start to unpack years of dysfunction, years of self-sabotage, years of inappropriate living, it can make a big mess, initially. What was crammed inside can seem to fill a much larger space once you let it out. It's like you have to junk up the entire house in order to clean house. It can almost be so overwhelming that you're tempted to shove it all back in and say, "I'll do this another time." ("Clean House" pack rats are usually like this and end up imprisoned by their procrastination.) But, of course, there's never really a good time to drag out the mess in order to clean house. Abuse recovery is inconvenient, often messy and almost always chaotic. However, the effort that it takes to bring order to that chaos is worth it. Take the time to get rid of the baggage and allow yourself a new beginning. The valuable space that is within you must be filled with appropriate, healthy, and productive stuff. Stop holding onto the baggage (including destructive relationships) as if it had value. It's only value has been to weigh you down and occupy your life. You have been in bondage to it for too long! Be merciless with it, and in so doing, you will become merciful with yourself. You matter! Martha Rosenberg |
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